https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I am opinionated and very understanding. Ive dealt with people like that and let me tell you its never easy cuz there gonna try and bring you down.I mean I too have anxiety but not to the point where I freak out or go completely insane. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. A few months ago she began self harming, and I apparently did something to upset her and she started talking about how she was going to commit suicide because of it. I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. Shes fixates and ruminates on her health on a daily basis, and connects every ache and pain as a reflection of her perceived inability and shame around not taking care of herself, and thinks she cant trust her own mind. She lacks motivation, and can struggle to get out of bed and finds it very difficult to engage with productive in her life, that I know she wants to do, but that she feels are fake and fleeting. Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). Its a selfish decision either way. I know what it feels like to be distant, but I have extra credit for you because you are near her but yet you still get the cold shoulder. Im so hurt lately, and she doesnt give it a mind, and she doesnt barely talk to me on the late days. However when i asked her how shed feel if i was to hang out with other girls she said that i wasnt allowed to and that all i would do is want to have sex with them or at least have those intentions. And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. Not cool. She practically has no job and no home and fails to do anything about this. She talks like Im the only good thing in her life and I believe she truly feels that way. I only have time to look at primary materials and not much more, and sometimes I wait until she has gone to sleep so I can read in peace. It was a no-win situation for me. Her issues didnt matter to me as she is a very good person, but I didnt see the whole picture. Theres a lot of pain in watching someone else you love give up on their own life, be unhappy about decisions they made and wonder why the relationship is falling apart when theyve manipulated your emotions by hurting u, breaking up with you so many times and not having anything positive to say on any problem you or they have,together or singularly. This often happens when too much stress causes hyperarousal, which can upset the balance between sleep and wakefulness, according to the National Sleep Foundation. I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. Friends are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when something isn't right. somewhere inside you still know that too, its a natural instinct. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Since being in a relationship with her I feel like I've lost myself a little bit? I love her but I just think staying will be self destructive for me and just enabling to her. She hates it when I get an attitude then why does she make me get into this attitude? I am going through the same. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. its comforting to know that other couples go through the same things. A woman goes through a break up, she goes out, cries half the time and gets her drinks paid for all night and has her choice of a half a dozen guys fighting over her. Be willing to provide physical assistance. We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. If your partner isn't nice, or loving, or supportive in any way, it can leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. I'm seeing shapes behind the curtain. You need to be comfortable with who you are. Your story is pretty much identical to mine. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? Thank you for reaching out. She blames herself for everything, and says incredibly negative and hurtful things about her self. And thats when shit will get unbearable for the two of you. We kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me. ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! And also I realised that people dont like sad people. Try thinking back to those in hard times (or look at the older texts again like you do, I do that too haha). Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. Am I giving up too quickly, am I weak, am I selfish I really dont know what I should do or feel right now. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. I really hope that it is it. Kind regards, The GoodTherapy Team, Im going through a similar thing, Ive been with my girlfriend for 4 years, shes been through childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, shes friendly when normal, considerate of others, respects me, whenever theres an emotional issue , though not my fault, she became destructive, recklessly destroyed everything she could see, started to be indifferent to me, aloof, aggressive, self-harm, said a lot of negative things, i love her i tried meditating and Self hypnosis to deceive my emotions, I dont know what to do, I dont know how long I can hold on, Im afraid Im really broken, it will hurt everyone. Whatever the reason may be (unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc. Im having this problem with my depressed gf too who I have been in a relationship with for almost 6 months now but lately, she changed from being caring to cold and selfish and I didnt do anything to anger her and treated her wth utmost care and lots of love since the beginning of our relationship. It's up to you to decide how to handle that. Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. She is in a constant state of less sad at the best of times. "Healthy, happy relationships are where both partners meet each others' physical and emotional needs," says relationship etiquette expert Mara Opperman, in an interview with Bustle. We stopped having sex last year because of her trauma. Right now, we value the future of our child more than anything else. I feel trapped. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. girlfriend is dragging me down I feel that my girlfriend is dragging me down and although she's happy in the relationship I'm not. We do talk through alot of things and have a somewhat open dialogue, but I still feel resentful and angry when i feel shes not there for me, something i dont seem to get over, despite wanting to. In your head, you know it's no big deal. She probably wants you to make a call. So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. Dear M, If you would like to find a mental health professional for your girlfriend, you can start finding therapists in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I ask if theres someone else, she says no. Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. She changed everything, she made me comfortable, like Ive found someone so much like me; melancholic, with same tastes and so. Hugs. Shes 30 but she isnt mature enough to have any responsibility, I pity for it. Can still manage to go to pool every Tuesday night til 2am. 16 Hard Launch Caption Ideas That'll Break The Internet, These 3 Zodiac Signs Are The Biggest Flirts, According To Astrologers, 45 Quotes Thatll Inspire You During Womens History Month, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Do something romantic. Wow.. so many people with so many similar issues and I thought I was the only one! She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. On my side my family is going through a very rough time and were worried about losing our home, Im going through a quarter-life crises where I dont know what I studied is the right thing for me, Im also really worried about my future because I dont know where Im heading in life. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. When we first met she experienced severe triggers and dissociative states, which led to her being unable to finish her degree, something she carries a great deal of shame from. The couple times I have plucked up the courage to leave she has done drastic forms of self harm. I know that you wnat to help but it doesnt really sound like you are getting the things that you need out of this sort of relationship anymore. Developing a strong therapeutic relationship with a clinician will afford you a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself. Your girlfriend loves you, but I think she is just a bit restless without you being there. He is also seeing a psychiatrist who has advised he doesnt work I am doing 3 jobs to pay for my divorce as he is going to go bankrupt with his business =- because he couldnt face going in to work except at lunch time. And also you have to be a little tough, let her know that you understand and love (you can tell her that simply in words, she might not notice that your actions are supposed to tell it, it is also difference between sexes) her but dont be the hero here. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. I would answer, I just want to feel free and safe. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. She did take medications she did try psychiatrist. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. Dude, And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. and the thing with sex: if you are curious and want to understand: I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. "When youre stressed, your heart starts pumping blood faster through your veins to give you energy to deal with that perceived threat," said Marcelina Hardy on BettyConfidential.com. She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. To me all of these modern mental issues we see are a result of too much free time, too many choices and the conveniences we enjoy. My partner has depression and anxiety and this year everything on his side of life started crumbling; family, job, friends, self-esteem, personal projects. I know thats going to be the final solution to all this, but is there anything anyone else could recommend? That is why she will fail. I dont know if you know Jesus, and sorry if I sound like a religious nutcase now but Im really trying to help you. Especially when theyre attractive they can just bounce around from bf to bf. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. Don't freak out if your goals are different. My girlfriend has been depressed for 3 years. Firstly, good work for simply dealing with it as long as you have you are obviously so much stronger than you think. I know she deals with her own issues and Ive known for quite some time, but I see it more often now. Same for me. But enough about me, what I suggest youd do is get a hobby, or something to distract you from thinking about her all the time. 3. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. does anyone have any pointers or ideas? Ive explained my feelings in the past and she says she understands but makes no difference. I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. deep thoughts in my head And they just keep dragging me down there down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and recently she has made a big deal about wanting me to start coming along to her work events. If she wanted to cheat that is her choice. Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. Lately she has been responding to me uncaringly and uninterested. You sound like a great boyfriend supporting her an everything.But where us your relationship right now?I mean,have you become just a caretaker for her,a shoulder to cry on?Or have you guys maintained your relationship to a good enough level so far?This is very important because what happens once she gets over her depression depends a lot on this.If she only sees you like a caretaker,there isnt much of a role for you to play when she does conquer her depression!Please reflect on this and sort things out.I know how it feels to stand by someone and then be abandoned by that same person.I would hate for that to happen to anybody else,especially to someone who has been as supportive as youve been! This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. She was not like this when we first met. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. These people are emotionally selfish they may not do it on purpose but they will take away everything that defines you and then you will be a empty shell . I even offered to pay for the consultation costs. And dwelling in the state of permanent not-understanding-what-is-going-on is no option. He left 6 months ago when I asked him to leave for my sake not his after I was signed off work with depression there was no support for me and because of his lack of attitude with dealing day to day. The envier. Medication treats symptoms, but it doesnt address all of the problems that often underlie depression. It's not fun for either party, and it's definitely a sign that things aren't entirely healthy. My suggestion is start having a quality of life before it is to late , love is wonderful when it is growing but it can be hell if it is one sided. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. Setup Size: 8.9 GB. First, if you are ever in crisis or are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, it is very important you seek help immediately. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. I did every single thing that you guys have written here. For the potential cheating part, dont worry about it. Been experiencing something very similar in my relationship, I have been helping my girlfriend with her anxiety and depression for years as well and its been so long that often I feel down and hopeless too. No one feels superior or inferior to the other." I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. Things are never as simple as you think. Some times its okay but those are only the times when things are easy. Look Ive been dealing with depression for years as well and yes at times i feel a bit hopeful and at other times i just want to die. Should I leave her be and wait for her to consult me? I take it this is detrimental to a persons feelings who has depression. I asked a lot of questions to learn what the problem is, all she says that everything collapses to her. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. I dont want to get to the point of carer for her or to resent her because of her condition. Please know you are not alone. And this is where our problems come in. But i just seem lost and i need answers, idk if i was harsh and Im totally new at this so Im sorry if i was being harsh and all but plz help. You are NOT responsible for the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors or others. I could stay in bed 2 days in a row. Learn how to be supportive if need be and get counseling yourself. Everything is my fault according to her. The burden on caretakers is significant, and there is great therapeutic value in realizing you are not alone. (Cue that sad trombone. And it can be anything, anything for the wide spectre of psychological problems or disorders. I would stand everything for her, but she doesnt seem to care, and it kills me from the inside. Before this everything was amazing, great relationship, we admitted to each other that we were in love and had fallen head over heals, amazing sex, I really felt like I had found my best friend. The 3 Cs: You didnt Cause it, you cant Control it, you cant Cure it. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. If you have depression or anxiety its because you know deep in your soul that you arent on the right path or living up to your potential. I missed her, but she pushed me away and i got fed up from this. She is a no bullshit chick that has always been completely honest with me about everything and this is no exception. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. Need be and wait for her or to resent her because of her condition didnt matter me. Care, and little by little she started becoming more and making plans possible to work it... About everything and this is no option child more than anything else is a! Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me travar, sem anncios and. Bunch of spoiled princesses about Yeshua, the son of the problems that often underlie depression with a clinician afford. Two of you of depression its hard to see if a person really you. 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